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    May 12

    我爱上漆黑的夜

    整整一年我就是这样,活在自己封锁的世界里。装一副作诺无其事。
    我很没出息的又想到了那个男人。
    想到那个夜晚,浪漫深情的背景音乐。修长的手指高举着红酒杯。他用那双手抚摸我的脸狭呢喃到:宝贝,你是属于我的知不知道?
    就是那句话让我心里泛起波澜,久久不息。明知道那是一句美丽的谎言,也要奋不顾身的以身试险。
    点燃一支烟,借着zippo的火光仿佛看到那双在烛光下的明亮的眼睛。坦诚的,干净的,迫切的。
    那张饱经风霜的脸我已经忘记了。然而那双迫切的眼睛,始终在我的梦境里无止息的上演着。

    亲爱的,我爱上的是你的博学多识,是你岁月洗礼的苍白。是你的手指触及的温暖。
    记忆太过沉重。甩甩脑袋努力的忘记一切不如意的事情。点燃一支香烟,像一个观望者看着它直到燃尽火光,露出一个丑陋的脑袋。


    这样的夜灯火照不亮我,心里认定了恐惧做再多的努力都是徒劳。我选择被黑暗吞噬,包裹。一声叹息,点燃一支支香烟,无数橙色的星星点点忽明忽灭告知我的方向。一团若云般烟雾可爱的袭击我的肺,尼古丁让我亢奋。可悲的女人宣泄只会让你更加愚蠢,我不会让步不作妥协,除非——我死了。

    我爱上漆黑的夜,它不会告诉我方向,我在大片黑暗无限自由,
    我爱上漆黑的夜,它危机四伏且又安于藏身。
    我爱上漆黑的夜,微弱的声响让我亢奋不已。
    阳光,那是属于另一个国度,那不是属于我的。

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